Rules of Acquisition

I am a big Star Trek fan and also have been enjoying the recent explosion of Large Language Models (LLMs), so I thought I would come up with a way they could be combined.

The ‘Rules of Acquisition’ are a collection of sayings of which the Ferengi society is based:

Every Ferengi business transaction is governed by these rules to ensure a fair and honest deal for all parties concerned.
(DS9: “The Maquis, Part I”)

According to various sources, by the mid-22nd century there were 173 rules (ENT: “Acquisition”), by the 2370s there were 285 (DS9: “Rules of Acquisition”, “Body Parts”; VOY: “False Profits”), and 289 by the 2380s (LD: “Old Friends, New Planets”).

The exact rules appear fairly randomly throughout the Star Trek canon, scattered throughout a number of episodes (predominatly in Star Trek Deep Space 9). Two excellent wikis exist to document the vast Star Trek universe, Memory Alpha (using information from all released television series and feature films) and Memory Beta (using information from all TV, films and licensed Star Trek works, including novels, comic books, RPG sourcebooks, video games and any other licensed works).

In the “primary” canon, 52 of the 289 rules were defined and in the extended canon 144 of the 285 rules were defined (although Rule #2 is defined twice, in different ways).

In September 2024 OpenAI released their “o1-preview” model which were “trained to spend more time thinking through problems before they respond, much like a person would. Through training, they learn to refine their thinking process, try different strategies, and recognize their mistakes”. It seems like a very powerful model so I decided to put it to the test…

I feed it the complete biographical information of the Ferengi’s, their biology, psychology (greed and self preservation), societal information and culture (profit and loss, beliefs, rituals and diplomacy) which are well defined, and referenced here. Along with that I provided the 144 existing rules from the wider canon and asked it to fill in the missing rules.

And what a wonderful job it did! The complete list is below, merging the ChatGPT-derived rules along with the existing canon (with those by ChatGPT clearly highlighted) but some of my favourites it came up with are:

#12 “Anything worth doing is worth doing for profit.”

#24: “Never mix business with pleasure unless it enhances profit.”

#28: “Morality is always negotiable in the pursuit of profit.”

#80: “If it works, sell it; if it doesn’t, sell it as an antique.”

#96: “For every opportunity, there’s an equal and opposite opportunity—exploit both.”

#114: “The small print holds the biggest profits.”

#132: “A lie isn’t a lie until someone else knows the truth.”

#161: “Never work for free, unless there’s future profit.”

Complete List of the Rules of Acquisition

Note: if the source is not ChatGPT then these rules come from the Ferengi Rules of Acquisition by Memory Beta, which contains more details including links to the source material/epsiode guide.

Rule Number	Rule	Source
1	Once you have their money... you never give it back.	DS9 episode: "The Nagus", PRD episode: "First Con-tact"
2	Money is everything.	ST - Strange New Worlds 9 short story: "The Last Tree on Ferenginar: A Ferengi Fable From the Future"
3	Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to.	DS9 episode: "The Maquis, Part II"
4	Sedition and treason are always profitable.	ST video game: Star Trek Online
5	Always exaggerate your estimates.	SCE eBook: Cold Fusion
6	Never allow family law stand in the way of opportunity.	DS9 episode: "The Nagus"
7	Keep your ears open.	DS9 episode: "In the Hands of the Prophets"
8	Small print leads to large risk.	DS9 reference: The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition
9	Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.	DS9 episode: "The Storyteller"
10	Greed is eternal.	DS9 episode: "Prophet Motive"
11	Opportunity waits for no one—seize it quickly.	ChatGPT
12	Anything worth doing is worth doing for profit.	ChatGPT
13	Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.	Legends of the Ferengi (DS9 novel)
14	Sometimes the quickest way to find profits is to let them find you.	Fortune of War (TTN novel)
15	Dead men close no deals.	Demons of Air and Darkness (DS9 novel)
16	A deal is a deal... until a better one comes along.	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
17	A contract is a contract is a contract... but only between Ferengi	DS9 episode: "Body Parts"
18	A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all.	DS9 episode: "Heart of Stone", DS9 - The Dog of War comic: "Issue 3"
19	Satisfaction is not guaranteed.	Legends of the Ferengi (DS9 novel)
20	He who dives under the table today lives to profit tomorrow.	Ferenginar: Satisfaction is Not Guaranteed (DS9 novella)
21	Never place friendship above profit.	DS9 episode: "Rules of Acquisition", PRD episode: "First Con-tact"
22	A wise man can hear profit in the wind.	DS9 episode: "Rules of Acquisition"
23	Nothing is more important than your health... except for your money.	ENT episode: "Acquisition"
24	Never mix business with pleasure unless it enhances profit.	ChatGPT
25	There's no profit in altruism.	ChatGPT
26	Customers are like latinum; treasure them and they'll return.	ChatGPT
27	There's nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman.	Legends of the Ferengi (DS9 novel)
28	Morality is always negotiable in the pursuit of profit.	ChatGPT
29	What's in it for me?	Highest Score (DS9 novel)
30	"Confidentiality equals profit."	DS9 - The Badlands novel: Part IV
31	Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother. Insult something he cares about instead.	DS9 episode: "The Siege", Elite Force II
32	Enemies are potential customers—never burn a bridge.	ChatGPT
33	It never hurts to suck up to the boss.	DS9 episode: "Rules of Acquisition"
34	War is good for business.	DS9 episode: "Destiny"; The 34th Rule (DS9 novel)
35	Peace is good for business.	DS9 episode: "Destiny"
36	Too many partners dilute the profit.	ChatGPT
37	The early investor reaps the most interest.	ST novella: Reservoir Ferengi
38	Knowledge is power; power yields profit.	ChatGPT
39	Don't tell customers more than they need to know.	Ascendance (DS9 novel)
40	She can touch your lobes but never your latinum.	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
41	Profit is its own reward.	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
42	What's mine is mine, and what's yours is negotiable.	ChatGPT
43	Feed your greed, but not enough to choke it.	The Buried Age (TNG novel)
44	Never confuse wisdom with luck.	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
45	Expand or die.	ENT episode: "Acquisition"
46	Make your own opportunities when none arise.	ChatGPT
47	Don't trust a man wearing a better suit than your own.	DS9 episode: "Rivals"
48	The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.	DS9 episode: "Rules of Acquisition"
49	Age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill.	ChatGPT
50	Gratitude is a profitable emotion—encourage it in others.	ChatGPT
51	Reward those who contribute to your wealth.	ChatGPT
52	Never ask when you can take.	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
53	Never trust anybody taller than you.	Mission Gamma: Twilight (DS9 novel)
54	Rate divided by time equals profit. (Also known as "The Velocity of Wealth.")	Raise the Dawn (Typhon Pact novel)
55	Take joy from profit, and profit from joy.	Worlds of Deep Space Nine: Bajor: Fragments and Omens (DS9 novel)
56	Only negotiate when you're certain to profit.	ChatGPT
57	Good customers are as rare as latinum—treasure them.	DS9 episode: "Armageddon Game"
58	There is no substitute for success.	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
59	Free advice is seldom cheap.	DS9 episode: "Rules of Acquisition"
60	Keep your lies consistent.	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
61	Never buy what you can acquire by other means.	ChatGPT
62	The riskier the road, the greater the profit.	DS9 episode: "Rules of Acquisition"
63	Work is the best therapy-at least for your employees.	"Over a Torrent Sea" (TTN novel)
64	The customer is always right—until you get their money.	ChatGPT
65	Win or lose, there's always Hupyrian beetle snuff	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
66	Someone's always got bigger ears.	What Happens Now (Star Trek: The Last Generation #3, TNG comic)
67	Breaking even is a sign of failure.	ChatGPT
68	Risk doesn't always equal reward.	Star Trek Online
69	Ferengi are not responsible for the stupidity of other races.	Balance of Power (TNG novel)
70	Secure the payment before delivering the product.	ChatGPT
71	Close the deal first; details can be settled later.	ChatGPT
72	Trust is a commodity best sold, not given.	ChatGPT
73	Time spent talking is time away from profit.	ChatGPT
74	Knowledge equals profit.	VOY episode: "Inside Man"
75	Home is where the heart is... but the stars are made of latinum.	DS9 episode: "Civil Defense"
76	Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies.	DS9 episode: "The Homecoming"
77	If you break it, I'll charge you for it!	Star Trek Online
78	When the boss is wrong, pretend to agree; then profit from his mistake.	ChatGPT
79	Beware of the Vulcan greed for knowledge.	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
80	If it works, sell it; if it doesn't, sell it as 'vintage'.	ChatGPT
81	There's a customer born every minute—find them.	ChatGPT
82	The flimsier the product, the higher the price.	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
83	Quick profit is the best profit.	ChatGPT
84	A friend is a customer waiting to happen.	ChatGPT
85	Never let the competition know what you're thinking.	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
86	Sentiment is the enemy of profit.	ChatGPT
87	Learn the customer's weaknesses, so that you can better take advantage of him.	Highest Score (DS9 novel)
88	It ain't over 'til its over.	Ferenginar: Satisfaction is Not Guaranteed (DS9 novella)
88	Vengeance will cost you everything.	The Poisoned Chalice (DS9 novel)
89	Ask not what your profits can do for you, but what you can do for your profits.	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
89	[It is] better to lose some profit and live than lose all profit and die.	"Best Tools Available" (DS9 short story)
90	Never tell the truth when a good lie will do.	ChatGPT
91	Your boss is only worth what he pays you.	"Old Friends, New Planets"
92	There are many paths to profit.	Highest Score (DS9 novel)
93	Latinum lasts longer than wisdom.	ChatGPT
94	Females and finances don't mix.	DS9 episode: "Ferengi Love Songs"
95	Expand or die.	DS9 novel: Legends of the Ferengi, VOY episode: "False Profits"
96	For every opportunity, there's an equal and opposite opportunity—exploit both.	ChatGPT
97	Enough... is never enough.	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
98	Every man has his price.	DS9 episode: "In the Pale Moonlight"
98	If you can't take it with you, don't go.	I, Q (DS9 novel)
99	Trust is the biggest liability of all.	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
100	When it's good for business, tell the truth.	Ascendance (DS9 novel)
101	Profit trumps emotion.	The Long Mirage (DS9 novel)
102	Nature decays, but latinum lasts forever.	DS9 episode: "The Jem'Hadar"
103	Sleep can interfere with opportunity.	DS9 episode: "Rules of Acquisition"
104	Faith moves mountains... of inventory.	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
105	Don't trust anyone who trusts too easily.	ChatGPT
106	There is no honor in poverty.	Sacraments of Fire (DS9 novel)
107	First to the market gets the biggest profit.	ChatGPT
108	A woman wearing clothes is like a man without any profits.	DS9 Novel
108	Hope doesn't keep the lights on.	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
109	Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack.	DS9 episode: "Rivals"
110	Exploitation begins at home.	VOY episode: "False Profits"
111	Treat people in your debt like family... exploit them.	DS9 episode: "Past Tense, Part I"
112	Never have sex with the boss' sister.	DS9 episode: "Playing God"
113	Always have sex with the boss.	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
114	The small print holds the biggest profits.	ChatGPT
115	Let nothing distract you from the pursuit of profit.	ChatGPT
116	There's always a loophole—find it.	ChatGPT
117	You can't free a fish from water.	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
118	Never settle for less than your worth.	ChatGPT
119	A customer's appearance can be deceiving; assess their wealth carefully.	ChatGPT
121	Everything is for sale, even friendship.	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
122	Never Sleep with the bosses sister	"Playing God" (DS9 episode)
123	Even a blind man can recognize the glow of Latinum.	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
124	Let others keep their pride; you keep their latinum.	ChatGPT
125	You can't make a deal if you're dead.	"The Siege of AR-558" (DS9 episode)
126	Double-check your profits.	ChatGPT
127	Neutrality sells to all sides.	ChatGPT
129	Fear of loss motivates customers—use it.	ChatGPT
130	Opportunities are never missed—only seized by others.	ChatGPT
131	Information is the greatest commodity.	ChatGPT
132	A lie is as profitable as the truth.	ChatGPT
133	Blame shrewdly to protect your interests.	ChatGPT
134	Profit above all else, even friendship.	ChatGPT
135	Listen to secrets, but never repeat them.	Ascendance (DS9 novel)
136	Seek profit in every situation.	ChatGPT
137	The closer to the source, the greater the profit.	ChatGPT
138	Everything is negotiable—absolutely everything.	ChatGPT
139	Wives serve, brothers inherit.	"Necessary Evil" (DS9 episode)
140	Your profit margin is the true measure of success.	ChatGPT
141	Only fools pay retail.	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
142	You can never know too much about your customers.	ChatGPT
143	Risk is the price of opportunity.	ChatGPT
144	There's nothing wrong with charity... as long as it winds up in your pocket.	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
145	A convincing lie is as good as the truth.	ChatGPT
146	Necessity breeds profit.	ChatGPT
147	People love the bartender.	Fearful Symmetry (DS9 novel)
148	Always negotiate from a position of strength.	ChatGPT
149	Everything has a price—find it.	ChatGPT
150	Respect is good; latinum is better.	ChatGPT
151	Even when you're a customer, sell yourself.	The Long Mirage (DS9 novel)
153	Sell the sizzle, not the steak.	"Deep Space Mine" (DS9 comic)
154	Pain is temporary; profit is eternal.	ChatGPT
155	Every being is a potential customer.	ChatGPT
156	Don't invest in what you don't understand.	ChatGPT
158	Fair play is seldom profitable.	ChatGPT
161	Never work for free unless there's future profit.	ChatGPT
162	Even in the worst of times someone turns a profit.	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book), DS9 video game: Harbinger
163	The secret of business is to know something others don't.	ChatGPT
164	Use others' resources whenever possible.	ChatGPT
166	When profits wane, raise your prices.	ChatGPT
167	Time is latinum; don't waste either.	ChatGPT
168	Whisper your way to success.	"Treachery, Faith, and the Great River" (DS9 episode)
169	Competition breeds innovation—and profit.	ChatGPT
170	Secure the contract before revealing the cost.	ChatGPT
171	Family is important, but profit is paramount.	ChatGPT
172	Desire fuels profit.	ChatGPT
173	A deal in hand is worth two in negotiation.	ChatGPT
174	If it sells once, it will sell again.	ChatGPT
175	Value is determined by what someone will pay.	ChatGPT
176	Never reveal your profit margin.	ChatGPT
177	Know your enemies... but do business with them always.	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
178	The customer is always right—especially when they're wrong.	ChatGPT
180	A bribe opens more doors than an honest plea.	ChatGPT
181	Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit.	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
182	Details are profitable; read the fine print.	ChatGPT
183	When life hands you ungaberries, make detergent.	Hollow Men (DS9 novel)
184	A Ferengi waits to bid until his opponents have exhausted themselves.	Balance of Power (TNG novel)
185	Every rose has its profit.	ChatGPT
187	Profit often hides in unlikely places.	ChatGPT
188	Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit.	Star Trek Online
189	Let others keep their reputation. You keep their money.	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
190	Hear all, trust nothing.	DS9 episode: "Call to Arms"
191	Neither time nor latinum waits for anyone.	ChatGPT
192	Never cheat a Klingon... unless you're sure you can get away with it.	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
193	It's never too late to fire the staff.	Cathedral (DS9 novel)
193	Trouble comes in threes.	Star Trek Online
194	It's always good business to know about new customers before they walk in your door.	"Whispers" (DS9 episode)
195	Watch your expenses; small leaks sink big ships.	ChatGPT
197	An inventive excuse can nullify a bad contract.	ChatGPT
198	Every bargain has a hidden cost.	ChatGPT
199	Location, location, location.	The Soul Key (DS9 novel)
200	A Ferengi chooses no side but his own.	(DS9 novel: Ferenginar: Satisfaction is Not Guaranteed)
201	Diversify your investments.	ChatGPT
202	The justification for profit is profit.	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
203	New customers are like razor-toothed gree worms. They can be succulent, but sometimes they bite back.	DS9 episode: "Little Green Men"
204	Only a Ferengi truly understands another Ferengi.	ChatGPT
205	Without customers, there is no profit.	ChatGPT
207	A Tribble Always Means Customer Satisfaction	Adventures RPG: Tribble Player Character Supplement
208	Sometimes, the only thing more dangerous than a question is an answer.	DS9 episode: "Ferengi Love Songs"
209	An empty account can't fund ventures.	ChatGPT
210	Deep pockets attract deep profits.	ChatGPT
211	Employees are the rungs on the ladder of success. Don't hesitate to step on them.	DS9 episode: "Bar Association"
212	A good lie is easier to believe than the truth.	Star Trek Online
213	Personal relations should serve business goals.	ChatGPT
214	Never begin a (business) negotiation on an empty stomach.	DS9 episode: "The Maquis, Part I"
215	Contracts between friends must be written doubly tight.	ChatGPT
216	Never gamble with a telepath.	DS9 novel: The Laertian Gamble
217	You can't free a fish from water.	"Past Tense, Part I" (DS9 episode)
218	Sometimes what you get free costs entirely too much.	Baby on Board (DS9 Malibu Comics)
219	Possession is eleven-tenths of the law!	TNG novel: Balance of Power
220	Those who own nothing have nothing to lose.	ChatGPT
221	Latinum can't buy happiness, but it can lease it.	ChatGPT
222	Knowledge is profit.	ChatGPT
223	Beware the man who doesn't take time for Oo-mox.	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
224	Your greatest enemy could be your greatest asset.	ChatGPT
225	Profit is the noblest pursuit.	ChatGPT
226	Honesty is a luxury for those who can afford it.	ChatGPT
227	If that's what's written, then that's what's written.	Star Trek Online
228	A satisfied customer is good; a dependent customer is better.	ChatGPT
229	Latinum lasts longer than lust.	DS9 episode: "Ferengi Love Songs"
230	Opportunities expire—act swiftly.	ChatGPT
231	When profits are at stake, listen carefully.	ChatGPT
232	Need creates demand; demand creates profit.	ChatGPT
233	Find the need, then fill it—for a price.	ChatGPT
234	Latinum can't buy love, but it can rent it for a while.	ChatGPT
235	Duck; death is tall.	Mission Gamma: Twilight (DS9 novel)
236	You can't buy fate.	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
237	Negotiation is preferable to confrontation.	ChatGPT
238	Another's honor can be your profit.	ChatGPT
239	Never be afraid to mislabel a product.	DS9 episode: "Body Parts"
240	Time, like latinum, is a highly limited commodity.	Star Trek Online
241	Greed is a universal constant—capitalize on it.	ChatGPT
242	More is good... all is better.	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
243	Always leave yourself an out.	Sacraments of Fire (DS9 novel)
244	Time invested wisely yields profit.	ChatGPT
245	Too many customers? Raise your prices.	ChatGPT
246	Secrecy is profitable.	ChatGPT
247	A customer's deception is a seller's opportunity.	ChatGPT
248	The definition of insanity is trying the same failed scheme & expecting different results	Department of Temporal Investigations 3: Shield of the Gods (novel) pg 11
249	Bankruptcy can be a strategic move.	ChatGPT
250	There's always profit in chaos.	ChatGPT
251	Guarantees are for the seller, not the buyer.	ChatGPT
252	If you can't sell it, don't buy it.	ChatGPT
253	Beware of beneficiaries bearing gifts.	ChatGPT
254	Maximize profit with minimal effort.	ChatGPT
255	A wife is luxury... a smart accountant a neccessity.	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
256	A genuine smile can close a deal.	ChatGPT
257	When the messenger comes to appropriate your profits, kill the messenger.	False Profits (VOY episode)
258	Family ties are secondary to profit opportunities.	ChatGPT
259	Opportunity, not intelligence, leads to wealth.	ChatGPT
260	Life is finite; profit is infinite.	ChatGPT
261	A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience.	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
263	Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for latinum.	DS9 episode: "Bar Association"
264	A friendly façade can conceal sharp intent.	ChatGPT
265	Trust no one wearing better shoes than you.	ChatGPT
266	When in doubt, lie.	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
267	If you believe it, they believe it.	Taking Wing (DS9 novel)
268	When uncertain, charge extra.	ChatGPT
269	It's easier to ask forgiveness than permission—especially after the profit is made.	ChatGPT
270	If you can acquire it for free, do so.	ChatGPT
271	Always have an escape plan.	ChatGPT
272	Always inspect the merchandise before making a deal.	Star Trek Online
273	Wealth attracts attention; use it wisely.	ChatGPT
274	Fear can be a profitable motivator.	ChatGPT
275	Revenge is unprofitable.	ChatGPT
279	Never lose sight of profit—the ultimate goal.	ChatGPT
280	If it ain't broke, don't fix it.	DS9 novel: Ferenginar: Satisfaction is Not Guaranteed)
283	Rules can be bent—not broken—to serve profit.	ChatGPT
284	Deep down, everyone's a Ferengi.	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
285	No good deed ever goes unpunished.	DS9 episode: "The Collaborator"